I thought a lot about how to start this essay about Captain America. There’s been a lot of starts and stops, a lot of deletions, procrastination, and revisions. For the life of me I just couldn’t into words my thoughts and opinions on Steve Rogers as a character. I kept trying to come up with a thesis, some intellectual argument that would validate why I liked the character. I found that the only thing I wanted to write about were my feelings on the character, but that didn’t feel valid enough to write about. Talking about how much I loved the character of Steve Rogers? How much I’ve enjoyed and appreciated his journey, what the character has grown to represent to me in fiction? I felt a strange sense of embarrassment at the thought of writing and sharing those feelings. In most of my work, I’ve tried to take a stance in sharing facts, research, something that could be quantified as having intelligent value.
Then I thought that’s fucking pretentious why the hell can’t I just share my feelings on Steve Rogers? I’m not getting paid to write this, I have nothing to prove to the world, and if I want to write an essay about how much I love Captain America, well I’m damn well going to do it. I’m going to go full Aries Latina and shout my feelings to anyone who wants to read them. With Avengers: Endgame happening I’ll never have a better opportunity to really reflect on Steve Rogers as a character before he’s gone from the big screen forever. I found that, in the end, I just wanted to write about the themes of compassion, empathy, and the struggles of compromise that exist in Steve Rogers and how much I appreciated those themes.
So here it is, an essay that is completely self-indulgent, and maybe unnecessary, but something I felt compelled to write all the same.